It’s been a desperately boring couple of weeks for me; I managed to trap a nerve in my shoulder that has lead to me being in almost constant pain. I’ve never experienced anything like it, the worst aspect of it being this nerve connects straight to the thumb and forefinger of my right hand, rendering them totally numb.
It’s been impossible to draw, to write, cook, even typing on a phone or scrolling through Instagram has been difficult. The numbness and pain have subsided now (I wouldn’t be able to write this otherwise) but it’s still not quite right, I just really want to get back to my studio. I’m seeing a physiotherapist later this week so fingers crossed he will snap me back to normalcy, I can’t take another week of this!
Although I must say, despite the pain and aggravation, there is nothing quite like having an enforced hiatus from pretty much everything to make you reassess your life. When you are so totally defined by what you do as a career but then are physically unable to pick up a pencil it’s terrifying. I was convinced I would never be able to draw again, or not in the same way I used too. Despite multiple reassurances from trained professionals that this was not permanent damage my anxiety-riddled brain would do it’s best to convince me on a daily basis that this was it. No more art, no more printmaking, nothing, just floating in a cloud of codeine, auto playing my way through Netflix’s entire back catalogue with my arm in a sling.
The irony is this comes on the heels of a recent portfolio review I had at the Association of Illustrators. An extremely productive meeting that led to me formulating big plans of where I was going to focus my illustrative energies in the future. These plans still exist; I will share them soon and begin to turn the advice I received into a sort of ongoing digital project that I’ll document on this blog. Right now I’m just focusing my energies on getting better, the relief I felt when my fingertips started to respond in a recognizable way was intense and I have no desire to ever damage myself like this again.
So lots of tea drinking and arm resting for the time being, I’m really excited about finishing off my latest piece of artwork but unfortunately it’s going to have to take a back seat for a while. Bloody arms, with their nerves and things, why is the human body such a cavalcade of horror? I just want a nice, robotic arm, that would be ideal. I’d never have to worry about this nonsense ever again, I’m going to write to Elon Musk and see if he can sort me out with something.